Proverbs: Friendship

Because I have a 45 minute or so drive to school in the mornings (it was either live with the madre and Mike or sink into unneeded debt) I like to make it somewhat worthwhile. I usually try to use that time to mentally and spiritually prepare myself for the day (or sometimes just to try to wake up). Lately I have been listening to Mark Driscoll sermons. He is one of the pastors at Mars Hill Church in Seattle. He is a powerful deliverer of the Word of God and does not hold back. Very bold!

The sermon I listened to this morning came from a series on Proverbs and discussed friendship. These are just some notes I took as I listened (not while I was driving of course):

The definition he gives of friendship is this: "A trustworthy peer with whom we mutually choose to lovingly live with by seeking unique access and service for God's glory and our mutual good."

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This means that "friends" should mutually choose to be friends. That we seek the well-being of our friends. It is intentional. While circumstances may bring you together, your friendship exists outside of them. Classmates, co-workers, family members, etc do not necessarily equal friends. While they may be wonderful relationships, they may not be friends. Friends are able to get ahold of you at any time of the day; they can call, text, email, or just drop by. Not everyone in your life gets that special access. Our friendships should glorify God and better who we are.

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He jokingly refers to Facebook friends. Do you really have 1,057 "friends"?
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It is important for us 1) to be good friends and 2) choose good friends.
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I immediately thought about my friends and then quickly changed my focus to the kind of friend I am.
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Proverbs speaks well of the benefits of a Godly friend. "Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise but the companion of fools will suffer harm." Friends either help or harm. How do I affect my friends? How do you affect yours?
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Proverbs 16:28 "A dishonest man spreads strife and a whisperer separates close friends." Don't pick someone who is dishonest as a friend. And don't be a dishonest friend. Gossip (something I am still overcoming over the years) separates friends. Don't be a whisperer. They throw matches, ignite the flame, and watch it burn.

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Another important thing to remember in friendships, like in any relationship, is grace. People have bad days. We don't get enough sleep, we have five tests in one week, our family is dysfunctional, whatever it is. Everyone deserves a hall pass every once in a while. Let's not be so quick to rebuke (though they are times when it's necessary, coming later in post) each other when we aren't Mr./Ms. Bright and Shiny all the time. Grace.
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There are those friends who are ALWAYS optimistic, always cheerful, always "look at bright side." This can be painful. There are certain times where we need our friends to hurt with us when we hurt. There are friends who are the devoted friends, the ones who when we need a friend the most, they are there. When crisis comes, they are there! "A brother is born for adversity." This is how you know who your true friends are. When adversity hits you, who is there? And when your "friends" experience adversity, where are you? There?

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"There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." Only a handful. We are blessed to have one or two (some may have more, but only a few when you really think about it). It's not bad to have lots of people you know, but it's better to have a few close friends you can count on.
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Proverbs 27:6 "Faithful are the wounds of a friend..." We tend to think that people who rebuke us, confronts us, point out sin in our life aren't really our friends. Wounds from friends are not used to destroy, but to sanctify. Carefully chosen words to show concern for our friends' lives are for love, not for hurt. If they are our true friend, we should listen... If two sinners are going to be friends, they have to be honest and occasionally "wound" one another, not to destroy but to heal. Takes much love to be able to do this...Tough huh???
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Questions to ponder:

1. How is Jesus a real friend to us? Do we even see Him as that? Does He not perfectly exemplify the definition of friendship?

2. How can we be a better friend and to whom?

3. Who if anyone would you consider a good friend to you and why? (Maybe let 'em know! )

4. Who do we need to be pursuing more intentionally?

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I pray that I can be, become, whatever, this type of friend that closely portrays the above-mentioned definition of a friend. If I'm not, "wound" me. Please.

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Here are a just a few pictures of a few of my friends:

Amber and I

Kate and IMeg and I
Laura, Suzanne, Kimberly, Me, Natalie, Alicia, CarlyRachel, Suzanne, Me, and AliciaSpringer and I

Rachael and I